Mary-Margaret McMahon’s Yellow Banana Bicycle

September 13, 2013

By Robert James

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Who stole Mary-Margaret McMahon’s bicycle? For the record LeRoy St. Germaine only rides electric bikes, and was not present at city hall during the morning of the alleged theft. The bike, valued new at $500 gives renewed vigor to McMahon’s $1.2 million dollar scheme to build an absolutely ludicrous den of iniquity under Nathan Phillips Square. Stick it to the motorists!

“We have parking lots with attendants watching your cars” says McMahon “why not bikes?” Well Mary-Margaret, allow me to retort. You want to tax & waste so bums and prostitutes can shower in City Hall’s parking lot. Why not also offer beds and a sauna, or maybe a few tanning booths. Don’t worry about the profit loss by losing prime parking space, you can always tax some more when Toronto goes bankrupt!

Make busy / make money councillors like Mary-Margaret McMahon are using this “tragic incident” to continue demanding a bike station with showers and changing rooms under city hall. Despite Councillor Doug Ford defending the taxpayers that not only is it money down the drain, the utterly pointless project will mean a permanent loss of revenue.

The station will be in the underground garage, below City Hall. Meaning the city will, in the name of being green have to give up $70,000 a year in just lost parking fees alone! “We’re taking away parking space down here at City Hall that is creating $70,000 worth of revenue, and — ready for this, folks? — they are putting in showers for the bike riders to come down here, to a tune of $1.2 million” said Doug Ford. How could ANYONE think that having a changing room and showers in an underground parking lot at the hub of the downtown T.O. is a good idea?!?!? How many people have had to use the un-secured stairwells in downtown parking lots? You would be hard-pressed not to find heroin cooking paraphernalia, used syringes, broken crack pipes and semen filled condoms. In other words they are prime, but filthy locations for a quick hit, or a private screw.

Councillor Ford in his own words agrees, noting that this new waste of money would become a bathhouse. Why would it not? Nathan Phillips Square is already a 5-star homeless park, save when major events are held. The nanny-state of NDP councillors finds any criticism of their fellow lefty cronies to be homophobic. Any objections to this waste of taxpayer money is now met with public attacks designed to shut up any intelligent thought.

Indeed, bike theft happens all the time in every major city. Some bicyclists make it a mission to track down their stolen property personally, while others offer a monetary reward for their bike’s safe return. Mary-Margaret McMahon on the other hand went on a full out internet rant, demanding information on the whereabouts of her banana yellow bike, which she disturbingly calls the love of her life. Always one to make sure her constituents never get a wooden nickel of their tax dollars back, McMahon is only offering some stale muffins as a reward. Thank-you Mary!

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